When You Weren't Looking

...Blackmouse fell down today at one of the school's stairs..not too sure what went wrong tho..but it seems dat a certain switch's been turned on..Blackmouse suddenly felt like writing...hmmm...
Here it goes.....

When you weren't looking,
I checked my hair if it's in place.
When you weren't looking,
I stared at your hair wanting to put it in place.

When you weren't looking,
I smiled at you in daze.
When you weren't looking,
I watched you smiling and suddenly feel safe.

When you weren't looking,
I said a little prayer.
When you weren't looking,
I shifted to be nearer.

When you weren't looking,
I secretly wished we can be happy together.
When you weren't looking,
I hoped I'll no longer live in tear.

When you looked
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I ran away.....................and cried!

Syukur pada Mu...

WARNING: Pls don't bother reading this entry..i juz need a channel to let out my feeling(s)..n it's darn long!

Hmm...
Hrni aku rs nk ckp bahse ibunda..coz entry kali ni is luahan perasaan yg aku pn xtau la nk kate ape..aku hepi hrni kuar jln2 bersama kwn2..kuar kalini bkn takat kuar jln2 kosong..tp dgn mission nk wat bisnes..terasa dunia ni masih luas..byk lg celahan hidup yg aku blom explore..btol la kot org puteh kate, life starts at 40 ek?..tu psl la kot aku rs cm life aku xstart2 lagik..hahah!

Round punya round, dpt la aku collect dua bisnes card utk aku kire2 nk wat bisnes..den kitorg troskn jln2..psl jln2 xya la kot cite..kite fast forward part tu..so, on d way back, borak2 la psl future n wat not..den kwn aku pn bukak la offer psl kwn die nk cr calon wife..n kwn aku ni sungguh2 rekomen kt ktorg..kateny d guy target nk kawin nxt year xsilap..mase dgr tu, fuhh..tros t'ingat kat some1..huhuh..bunyi offer mcm menarik..a chance to get to know another soul who's also looking kan..dari dok merayap kat secret garden..but den, aku decline...coz aku rs cam xbest je cmtu..da la kwn aku tu ckp org tu xnk b'cinta dlu, nk b'cinta pas kawin..erk..sempat ke nk knal cmtu?..

Oh ok..aku tau ade je org yg b'cinta pas kawin..no offense k..aku hormat keputusan korg n infact salute korg coz brani take dat step..aku x kot..or mayb blom smpi tahap seberani korg..but den lately ni aku cam rs tah pape...since sorg2 kwn aku dok naik pelamin..cam rs, "ape nk jd kt aku nih?"..hmm..quite a few jgk kwn2 yg da ade anak..adeyh..rs cam aku akn cmni smpi tua...coz aku xmeet new people kot..tahla..da la aku ni penyegan..huhuh..

Tapiii...dlm dok bengong2 cmnih, aku t'bc la blog some1..mmg btol la org kate m'baca ni leh luaskn pengetahuan, bla bla bla..coz aku bru sedar.....yg sbenar2ny....aku bkn perlu smua tu..aku juz rs cmtu sbb keadaan sekeliling..sbb smua org ada...sbb umur cmni org slalu settle down..seriously, aku bodoh..alhamdulillah Allah dorong aku g baca blog tu..aku skrg sedar n paham maksud settle down yg sbenarny..settle down, is bila kita rs nk hidup b'same org tersebut..bkn kite pegi cari sane sini utk hidup bersame org tu..mayb blogger tu xmention camtu, tp itu yg aku phm sndr..tibe2, i dont feel dat old anymore..hahah!..ada la tu nti, for me..amin..~

Fuhhhhh! lega btol da pokpek pjg lebar cmnih..maka t'bukti la bku yg aku pnah bc dlu kate, writing is a therapy..soooo trueee!!

p/s: hopefully k'sedaran ni b'thn lame..takut je bgun2 esk da stat blik..hahha! ape pun, for now..aku hepi cam nih...weee~

this heart is itching......

while walking round a flea market today, blackmouse spotted this and instantly fell in love wif it..she would've dived at it if her pocket was thick..heh..now her heart is rili itching for it.....

"I'm so gonna get this!!!!!"

1st Rendezvous...

tadaaa...this is our picture during our 1st rendezvous... we were walking hand in hand..LOL! i can see dat he's rili happy..juz look at d way he smiled!! hahah!..love ur smile Mr. S..weeee~

A Mouse Is A Mouse & Can Never Be Something Else...............

Blackmouse telah di tag oleh Zurin...here we go....

1. Letakkan gambar profile anda
2. Terangkan maksud gambar itu
Well, ini lah konon nya saya...

3. Kenapa pilih gambar itu
Sbb sy kan tikus hitam?..xde muka, sbb xnk kna judge...judge me by my ears plz.. :P

4. Tag 5 lagi blogger!
Alamak..! Bleh x i tag u balik Zurin?..hee..
Zurin, Afrina, Adik Paku, Sifu & Cik Nab..

Secret Garden...

Recently, I found a garden, my secret garden. Whenever i'm happy or sad, i'll go to my secret garden to pour my heart out. In a magical way which I can't explain, I always ended up feeling glad that I went to my secret garden. Since my life is in such a mess rite now, i tend to be a frequent visitor of my secret garden. I laughed and cried in this little secret garden. And now i started to wish that this secret garden is really mine.

Now, I felt guilty that all this while, I had been trespassing someone else's garden. If this garden is rili mine, I wudn't have liked it if someone else had simply walk into my garden. It's not that I'm being selfish. But there are just some things that we want to call our own, don't we? We just need to have some sense of belonging at times.

It's about time that I walk out of my secret garden. It wasn't even mine after all. I was just a trespasser. Thank you secret garden for all the moments and your magical way of making me happy. Though I will no longer be visiting you, you will always be on my mind. To the garden owner, I am deeply sorry for what I had done. I do hope that you'll forgive me.

And to my secret garden, do pray that I'll find another garden. Another garden just like you....with magical power to make me happy and which I can call my own...

Au revoir moi 'secret garden'......................

Of Numbers & Figures?...

My colleagues and I had our girl talk in the library today...yes, students are having their mid-term break so the library was pretty empty..then, in the midst of conversation, my little brain up there made me realize.......dat life's too short to be wasted on unworthy things..well, of course different people have different definition of unworthy..n so do I..........

n it doesn't just end there...i kept pondering on it even after lunch..i'm in my mid-twenties now..like, what have i done in the past 20 plus years??..it's all about the numbers right?..if only our age doesn't increase, then it wouldn't have mattered, rite?...but come to think of it, there's a reason to why people start inventing something called "numbers" and "figures".......?....so that we can keep track, agree?...

*sigh*

*sigh*

*sigh*

*laughs*

oh no, is this wat old people tend to do?..ponder too much on life like there's nothing else to be done..??..hahah! i AM younggggg!.. & i'd love to waste morrre time on unworthy things....coz when the time comes and i get rili old, then i would regret not doing all the unworthy things..so yeah, come what may...i am sooo doing my thingsss..

p/s: some people commented on my habit of thinking too much..well, i don't see it as a problem tho...i think it's one of the ways to keep my brain working..hahahaha!.. juz b careful on wat ur thinkin about... ;) ..ngeeee~

If....

If I could wear my heart on my sleeve...den I bet none would judge me for what I am not..
I know it's just human's nature to judge another person..but some forget to keep their judgment within their own thoughts........

I once fell flat on the ground for a particular person's judgment towards me which changed my life, entirely......yes, it's like all my hopes and dreams were ruined in a flash!.. I so wanted to confront dat particular person about it..I wanted to proof him/her wrong......I wanted him/her to know the real me...and not just what he/she saw...but I didn't...I decided to let it be........

I tried to forget about it as I do not want to hold a grudge against dat particular person..there's just no use for me to be holding a grudge when everything's gone......n tonight, again....by another person...........

I really wish I could wear my heart on my sleeve...den u wouldn't have judge me the way u did...I'm not all dat perfect..nobody is.......but if u could only see my heart, you'll regret saying what you just said......this broken heart is full of million things that u haven't got the chance to know yet.....but u decided to judge....i am nobody...u can have ur say......n so do i...here, at dis little place i called mine...thanks...........

Would U Accept This?

Dear you...

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you. I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on-the-job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.

Thanking you in anticipation

Yours sincerely,
Me
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Blackmouse found this cute lil letter while playing an online game..
& she thinks dat it's pretty cuteeee..in a way..heee..
so, would u accept this love letter?..
yes, you! you are reading this aren't you?..
LMAO!!!

Red Red Wine Bike...

Weeeeee~~
Saw dis bike on d way to work.....
Turned out dat d rider headed to my office!!
Nice ride u have there man!!!!!

ngeee...wonderin if ur a student or staff here....
nk tumpang....hahahha!
tp bukan tumpang naik, nk tumpang bawak round2 cyberjaya...
weeeeeee~~

p/s:alamak...kang Mr. S jeles plak dah... :P

My New Love....weee~

In one of my entries, i mentioned dat in life, when one door closes, another opens...true enough...

Coz today, I found a new love...he is Mr. S...weeee~
We met at my new office...(love at first sight lah konon!)
Ngeee..today i dun hv any class..so, I'm spending d day wif him...
Dis is d 1st time u'll see my pic on my blog...n who wud hv tot dat u'll see me wif my new love..

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blackmouse n Mr. S....

**sweet x kitorg??...hee...kalo aku keje lame2 kt cni, jd cam Mr. S la kot kn?..handsome la jugak bopren baru aku ni ek?..putih melepak tuuu!!wahahahha!