11 March will never be just a date on a calendar. It is a day which will remind me that in split second, life can change drastically.
Today, last year, I was suddenly an orphan - who is jobless and not yet married. I suddenly had no one to depend on except for my siblings, fiancé and best friends. Suddenly, there's no one to nag about my wedding preparations. I was suddenly alone!
Later on, I stayed with my sister while hopping on every interview I was offered with a fake confidence. I no longer need the job for money or to build career, all I need was something to keep me busy. I had to keep my every tear from falling each time I got ready for an interview. When my late parents were around, they have been the ones I called to share about it. But suddenly, I had no one to share about it. No one will tell me that I'll do good during the interview or whenever I did not get through the interview, they always know the right words to say.
As the last child of the family, I must say that I am pretty attached to them. I have always been their baby. So, staying with my sister, her husband and their two kids (my nephew & niece) was never easy. It really hurt to see the happy family. The happy family reminded me of how I used to behave around my late parents. How they (my late parents) will always provide what I needed. Although some which I used to go against, but now I totally understand why.
Today, 11 March 2013, I am still an orphan, but now a housewife. My husband had to go out of town for work. And at this moment of time, I just realized that I'm alone. All my loved ones are far away from me. I know that they are all a call away, but what would I say when I call them? I'll only end up crying. I need a hug. I think I've forgotten how it feels like being hugged.....especially by my late parents.
Allow me one last line in my first language, Malay.
Allah sayang anak yatim piatu, insya-Allah Dia tolong kurangkan rasa sunyi dan rindu ni.
