Yea....our days ARE numbered...that's just why calendars have numbers...and our birthday adds number to our age.....
26 years of living, there are too many things that I wanted in life. Some which I managed to reach, while some are still out of reach. Despite of all the materials that I want, I am still seeking for happiness, pure happiness. I know that happiness won't last and that our life needs to be balanced with some sadness. But I have this feeling that sadness is starting to conquer my life and that I only managed to taste a split second of happiness. There are quite a number of things which I suppose are achievable to me, but I was forced to stop pursuing them. People have been saying that there may be something better that awaits me at the end of the day. I kept telling myself the same. But just how long can I lie to this broken heart that things are never going to be the way I wanted it to be. I can't even try to mend things in my own way. A leopard can never change its spot? That's exactly what I am. But the leopard is lucky coz he can behave just like how a leopard should behave. While I have to watch people around me achieve what they desire and watch mine shattered one after another. I just don't have the right to make a dream come true.
Die? People no longer die when they get old. Nowadays, people tend to die at young age. I don't know when I will die. No one knows. But I do know that my days are numbered. I can't stay alive forever. And I think I don't have much of a time to be upset about not getting to achieve what I desire. If I should die, I want to die happily. And leave the people who I love without having them being hurt about my misbehaviour or what not. If I were to die soon, I want them to be happy. So I suppose I should start behaving at my best. Be careful with my words and action as to not hurt those who I love. Need to learn to listen and not question too much. Whatever makes them happy should make me happy to. I'm sure they want me to be happy, as much as I want them to be happy. Now that sounds like a happy ending.
Well, looks like I gotta live everyday like it's my last day. May Allah bless me, and those I love. *amin*
Ramadhan Kareem
7 years ago
2 comments:
i loved it so much ..great words
Hello,
Interesting blog. It is actually so strange how I randomly came across it. And what's even more strange is that I too, have been reflecting about where I am in life and where I want to be. My advice to you is to be positive, you're still young (we both are :P)and anything is possible you just have to want it badly enough. Happiness is not found in material things it is found in our hearts, it is whatever we defy it to be. I think your first goal should be to change your mindset. What is it that you expect out of yourself? What is it that is creating this sadness for you? Seems like you have a loving family which should be a great support system for you, use it to your advantage. I know it is my family that keeps me going every day. And sadly, I am currently living thousands of miles away from them. I really enjoyed reading your blog, I feel the same way, but I try to turn off those negative thoughts and feelings. Also are you Muslim? I noticed your last sentence. If you are I just so happen to be starting a blog about death, it is not ready yet but maybe in the meantime you could read my other blogs, I think you would enjoy them. Latherrinserepeat123.blogspot.com
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