J-U-N-E...

Early of the year...I was pretty much looking forward for the month of June..but then He took it away from me way before things are about to happen...it's every girl's dream to have their lil secret fantasy...........mine's ruined.....it's over I know, but I can't lie that this coming June won't remind me of those things that I've dreamed of...I know this June will not quite bring me the happiness which I thought it would...but maybe He has better plans for me....June might be the kick start for a new dream?...perhaps..?....I kinda can't wait for June to be over...maybe that way I wouldn't be so reminded of those dreams... *sigh* I really need some distraction........hmmm...

i wanttttt........

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my baby to wear this....................

my baby?.... *sigh*
i don't even have a husband..or a fiance...or a boyfriend... *sigh*
but stillll....i want....i just want my baby to wear this...
it's sooo cuteeee...hehee.. :D

Our days are numbered....

Yea....our days ARE numbered...that's just why calendars have numbers...and our birthday adds number to our age.....

26 years of living, there are too many things that I wanted in life. Some which I managed to reach, while some are still out of reach. Despite of all the materials that I want, I am still seeking for happiness, pure happiness. I know that happiness won't last and that our life needs to be balanced with some sadness. But I have this feeling that sadness is starting to conquer my life and that I only managed to taste a split second of happiness. There are quite a number of things which I suppose are achievable to me, but I was forced to stop pursuing them. People have been saying that there may be something better that awaits me at the end of the day. I kept telling myself the same. But just how long can I lie to this broken heart that things are never going to be the way I wanted it to be. I can't even try to mend things in my own way. A leopard can never change its spot? That's exactly what I am. But the leopard is lucky coz he can behave just like how a leopard should behave. While I have to watch people around me achieve what they desire and watch mine shattered one after another. I just don't have the right to make a dream come true.

Die? People no longer die when they get old. Nowadays, people tend to die at young age. I don't know when I will die. No one knows. But I do know that my days are numbered. I can't stay alive forever. And I think I don't have much of a time to be upset about not getting to achieve what I desire. If I should die, I want to die happily. And leave the people who I love without having them being hurt about my misbehaviour or what not. If I were to die soon, I want them to be happy. So I suppose I should start behaving at my best. Be careful with my words and action as to not hurt those who I love. Need to learn to listen and not question too much. Whatever makes them happy should make me happy to. I'm sure they want me to be happy, as much as I want them to be happy. Now that sounds like a happy ending.

Well, looks like I gotta live everyday like it's my last day. May Allah bless me, and those I love. *amin*